Toward Ecosophy

So my wife and I were talking this morning about the decidedly silly magical working I discussed here yesterday, and the absurdity of the Galactic Signature names (Red Electric Moon et al.) struck us both hard enough to leave dents. Cliff was certainly right that some of them would make good doom metal album names, but really, why settle for Red Electric Moon when you could really go to town? 

With that in mind, I secluded myself in a chamber of rugose and squamous sorceries and practiced the necessary ablutions, prostrations, incantations and obfuscations that are required if you want to contact that evanescent being of cosmic mystery...the inimitable Lady Pixie Moondrip, author of the ever-famous Lady Pixie Moondrip's Guide to Craft Names. Her Irreverent Absurdity was kind enough to put in an appearance, and as a result I am privileged to present: 

Lady Pixie Moondrip's Pangalactic New Age Soul Signature Generator!

Your Pangalactic New Age Soul Signature is of course the secret key to your own mystical inner nature. It is determined by the Cosmic Oom, which can be contacted by the use of Jungian synchronicity -- a twenty-sided die works well here. Roll three times and look up the results in the following Mystic Tables of Thpageti-Thoth the Atlantean Short Order Cook: 

TABLE 1
1 - mauve
2 - heliotrope
3 - aquamarine
4 - taupe
5 - sepia
6 - magenta
7 - maroon
8 - umber
9 - fuchsia
10 - puce
11 - crimson
12 - orange
13 - turquoise
14 - tangerine
15 - indigo
16 - lilac
17 - cobalt
18 - citrine
19 - écru
20 - scarlet

TABLE 2
1 - orthogonal
2 - exogenous
3 - radiant
4 - refulgent
5 - eldritch
6 - tangential
7 - palpitating
8 - hyperactive
9 - nocturnal
10 - transcendent
11 - hibernating
12 - funicular
13 - translucent
14 - amphibious
15 - anthropoid
16 - exiguous
17 - apopleptic
18 - crunchy
19 - somnolent
20 - oracular

TABLE 3
1 - piglet
2 - muffin
3 - puppy
4 - toad
5 - skull
6 - sheep
7 - tulip
8 - moose
9 - wombat
10 - opossum
11 - raccoon
12 - pangolin
13 - wolverine
14 - stoat
15 - weasel
16 - platypus
17 - chicken
18 - cow
19 - eel
20 - octopus

Note 1: If you don't like the results, just remember that your Pangalactic New Age Soul Signature can change synchronistically at 3:42 am Greenwich mean time every day, so you can always roll again. Are you a Lilac Tangential Piglet? A Maroon Orthogonal Cow? Find out now! 

Note 2: There is also the sinister Pangalactic Lovecraftian Soul Signature, for all you worshipers of the Great Old Ones. In order to generate this, you use tables 1 and 3, but insert a randomly chosen adjective from an H.P. Lovecraft story in the middle. You could be an Umber Gibbering Raccoon or an Orange Archaic Weasel, after all! 

Pangalactic Update, Star Date 16.04.20:  one of my enthusiastic readers succeeded in making personal contact with the Cosmic Oom and has automated the process of consulting the Tables of Thpageti-Thoth! Part the veils of phantasmagoric nothingness and check out the omnipotent oracle at www.CosmicOom.com. 

Another Pangalactic Update: the CosmicOom.com version of the Tables of Thpageti-Thoth is now accepting new colors, adjectives, and nouns for The Automated Pangalactic New Age Soul Signature Generator Two Point Infinity! Please post 'em in the comments. We can attain levels of mystical preposterousness never before achieved!