![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
Why You Joined, Why You Left
In the course of the ongoing conversation over on my blog, the Druid organization Ar nDraiocht Fein (ADF) came up for discussion. Quite a few people mentioned that they had been members of ADF but left the organization, most of them recently -- and one of my longtime readers and students mentioned that he's long been interested in the religious dimension of Druidry and is looking to set up an organization for people who share that interest. That got a lively response from the former ADF members, and the questions that came up immediately were: Why did each person join ADF in the first place?
Why did they leave?
That's what this post is for: a frank discussion of what attracted people to ADF and what convinced them to quit. Full disclosure here: I'm also a former ADF member, though I left quite a while ago, and I'll be adding my own reflections to the conversation.
I'm well aware that this is a topic about which some people -- notably those who are still members of ADF -- may have strong feelings, and may not express those with the courtesy and thoughtfulness I expect from my commentariat. For that reason, any attempt at trolling, concern trolling, derailing, flamebaiting, or other bits of online gamesmanship will be deleted. This post is a place for those of us who have had experiences with a troubled Druid organization to talk about those experiences, so that a different organization can learn from them. Those who don't want to participate in that conversation are welcome to go somewhere else -- and those who might want to interfere with that conversation are welcome to go shinny up a stump. 'Nuf said.
Re: Member for a Few Years Here
(Anonymous) 2020-06-24 02:05 am (UTC)(link)Why is that? My own theory, as a long-time oddball, is that groups are important in society; too many oddballs screw up a group, so many groups won’t even look at us; when we find one that will accept us, we overwhelm it with our oddballitude and it implodes.
If it helps anyone, I’ve found a couple of ways to deal with this. There’s the Groucho Marx approach, not joining any group that would have you as a member. A better way is to realize you’re a stranger here and will always be a stranger. Watch those to whom conformity comes naturally, and mimic them when you’re with the group. You can be yourself when the meeting breaks up and everyone’s gone home. And when something needs done that you’re capable of doing, volunteer. The more useful you are, the more nonconformity you can get away with.
Re: Member for a Few Years Here
Re: Member for a Few Years Here
Re: Member for a Few Years Here
Re: Member for a Few Years Here
(Anonymous) 2020-06-24 05:43 am (UTC)(link)wardrobes
Rita
Re: wardrobes
(Anonymous) 2020-06-25 04:44 am (UTC)(link)Re: Member for a Few Years Here
I would add a corollary to your last maxim. The extent to which usefulness generates tolerance of nonconformity is an indication of how functional the group is.
I was fortunate in my newbie days to be welcomed into an organization that scored high on this measure. One of the group's principal activities was putting on good quality community sabbats on a regular basis. If you showed up regularly, and learned enough about what the group was trying to do to find somewhere to help out, your participation was appreciated, and the path to leadership was open.