I've often thought about the difficulty people have in saying no.
One of my TCM teachers (a very lovely man, from whom I learned a great deal - Lao Jin, RIP), during our third year presided over our practice clinical case presentations. Each of us had to present 4 cases (with the person who was being "presented" there in the room ready to be treated) during our final year. Inevitably after we had done our presentation Lao Jin would gently say, "I have a different idea"... and then, without ever SAYING "no, you're wrong", he would proceed to demolish our notions and present a deeper, more complex view of what was going on with our "case", and suggest a more nuanced treatment.
On the other hand, if one is alert to the matter of consent, it is noticeable how often people express the wish to withhold their consent, using terms that do not include the word "no". For example, "Let's do this some other time." "Oh, I've got this other thing to do!" "Hmmm, could be a good idea, let's talk about it again sometime." And, since consent matters to me, in a clinical context and on a daily basis, I tend to *read* such formulations as a person trying to say "no" without actually SAYING "no."
And, so, I agree entirely. No is MUCH more difficult for people to say than "yes." Or, "maybe" (which a person not open to nuance can PUSH into an implied "yes").
Be careful with your "yes" - is all I can say. Be 100% certain before granting it to anyone, or to any scheme. :)
Re: Reality Engineering
One of my TCM teachers (a very lovely man, from whom I learned a great deal - Lao Jin, RIP), during our third year presided over our practice clinical case presentations. Each of us had to present 4 cases (with the person who was being "presented" there in the room ready to be treated) during our final year. Inevitably after we had done our presentation Lao Jin would gently say, "I have a different idea"... and then, without ever SAYING "no, you're wrong", he would proceed to demolish our notions and present a deeper, more complex view of what was going on with our "case", and suggest a more nuanced treatment.
On the other hand, if one is alert to the matter of consent, it is noticeable how often people express the wish to withhold their consent, using terms that do not include the word "no". For example, "Let's do this some other time." "Oh, I've got this other thing to do!" "Hmmm, could be a good idea, let's talk about it again sometime." And, since consent matters to me, in a clinical context and on a daily basis, I tend to *read* such formulations as a person trying to say "no" without actually SAYING "no."
And, so, I agree entirely. No is MUCH more difficult for people to say than "yes." Or, "maybe" (which a person not open to nuance can PUSH into an implied "yes").
Be careful with your "yes" - is all I can say. Be 100% certain before granting it to anyone, or to any scheme. :)